how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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