the new term for farting is butt boxing.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
