I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
