problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think a kid would responsible me up
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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