Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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