guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
