I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I wish they made helmets for livers.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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