She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
