Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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