Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
