Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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