lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
