ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
