I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
