good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
