Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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