dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
