Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
