And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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