After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
