I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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