Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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