Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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