med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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