that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
