He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
