Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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