Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm too high and old for this...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
