yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
