he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
