We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
