I wanna passion pit in your ass
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
