haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
