I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the condom got lost in my hair
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
