You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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