do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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