He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
