Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
