doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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