He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
