Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
