that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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