She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
