Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
