I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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