i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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