Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
