I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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