You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
