I wish I could punch you in the face.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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