Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
