I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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